Kelly-Gate
My daughter and I have been going back and forth on this social media feud gone viral.
My first thought was that Kelly was a plant for the store. I mean ever since the incident, Art of Play has been bombarded with searches, visitors, tourists. Could it have been a ruse?
Layla reminded me that I’m a longtime conspiracy theorist. Fair enough. I like to consider every angle, even the unlikely ones. And every now and then, one of my theories proves true. So when she told me I was being ridiculous, I said, “I disagree! It’s totally plausible, considering the influential world we’re living in.”
There’s an overlook on Mulholland Drive, around the corner from where I live, that’s been inundated with tailgate parties at sunsets – open trunks with coolers inside. Lovers making out. Layla says some influencer prolly made a TikTok about the spot. Like they did for Joe’s Pizza in New York or Easy Street Burgers in Studio City. A simple mention can make or break a business. A designer. A location.
So my theory is plausible. But admittedly, not likely.
Had I not known who I was watching in the video, I wouldn’t have guessed it was Kelly. She was in celebrity camouflage – a newsboy cap, sunglasses. Baggy clothes. A backpack. Also, she was petite – the newly down-sized Kelly Clarkson. She didn’t always look like this.
Which brings me to theory #2 of why she might have felt the impulse to pull out her phone after they wouldn’t sell her the bird.
GLP-1s.
Don’t hate me yet. I’m all for GLP-1s. I’ve considered them myself – for inflammation – if I ever wanna run again. And, if I had a lifelong weight problem I wouldn’t hesitate.
(Kelly has publicly acknowledged taking weight loss meds, thought she hasn’t confirmed they were GLP-1s. So, lets just say GLP-1 adjacent.)
Here’s what I’m thinking: when I’m having a good hair day, (an archaic, Disney-esque concept for sure, but there’s truth to how right the world is when your hair looks fab), or when the clothes I pull off the hangers just work, or the few times I’ve dropped 10 pounds, I notice a change in my behavior. I venture out with more confidence. Conviction. More gumption. I’m more eager to share my opinions and believe people want to hear them.
Perhaps that’s an inflated sense of self-importance. Affirmations tell us that beauty comes from within. It sounds so good. But it’s only partly true.
So I can’t help but wonder, would the pre-GLP-1 Kelly have behaved the same way?
Over the past year I’ve been to parties where the newly svelte – many who used to be wallflowers – are now laughing and gesturing and working the room. Nothing bad about that. Just that sometimes I don’t even recognize them. (Seriously.) Not because they look so different but because they act so different. They’re happier. More outgoing.
So, maybe Kelly is adjusting to a newfound liberated sense-of-self?
But the post backfired. The fallout was real. And harsh. The trolls started trolling. Kelly’s army. There have alledgedly been death threats made to the propriotor of the store! What?
She has yet to express regret.
There’s still time!
Everybody fucks up, right? We’ve all done something, said something we wish we could take back.
She doubled down.
If we give her some space, perhaps she’ll have a rethink.
Kelly’s brought us so much joy and light and music and … um … Wayfair.
Listen to me! That’s not a demand. It’s the voice in my head. As in … what am I/what are we devoting all this oxygen to? The incident was the most clicked link in a New York Times Morning Newsletter. Really? There’s a war going on. Actually, a few. The price of everything! An election coming up. I guess the New York Times needs click bait too.
And I was one of those people who clicked. 🤓
As soon as I post this, I’m moving on.
But the next time I’m in Brooklyn I’m definitely gonna head over to Art of Play and have a look at that bird.
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