Regrets

“Regrets. I’ve had a few. But then again. Too few to mention.”

Paul Anka wrote the iconic lyric to “My Way” in 1967. Some might say it’s cheesy. It’s anything but. My Dad thought it was meant for him. It makes me cry when I hear it. Especially this part:

For what is a man What has he got

If not himself Than he has naught

To say the things He truly feels

And not the words Of one who kneels

I’ve heard it described as a dignity-in-aging anthem. Paul Anka was 26 when he penned those words. How could he possibly know?

Anyway … “My Way” got me thinking about my own regrets. This isn't meant to be a sad blog. I’m just tired of addressing my end-of-every-year promises-to-myself and resolutions for the next.

It’s therapeutic to ponder ones regrets because in doing so one can change the way one lives their life moving forward. If one wants to. :)

Here I go:

1- I can’t believe I’m even telling you this … I wish I hadn’t done that horrible thing to Doris Moore in third grade: Jane D and I Sharpie’d her name on her forehead. And she let us. That was such a mean thing to do. It’s my biggest regret. It still haunts me.

2- I wish I hadn’t given away my Barbie Doll collection. What was I thinking?

3- I wish I’d learned to play guitar better. See, sometimes when I’m practicing my songs I notice I strum every song the same way. And at the same tempo. Yawn. Perhaps I’m just playing the only way I know how. Therein lies the problem. If I’d learned a variety of strumming, finger-picking and such, a couple of tasty riffs it would have expanded my palate ‘along the way.’

(I’m not complaining. I’m very happy with my fate.)

4- I wish I had learned a second language fluently. I admire my husband Adam’s and my wife Suzan’s ability to communicate in foreign-speaking cities (while I stand idly by awaiting translation.) I studied French in High School and I remember many words but I can’t have conversation to save my life. I tried learning Spanish over Covid. It it all went out the other ear when Covid was over.

5- When I was given a choice of which role I would prefer to play — Sarah or Adelaide — in a college performance of Guys and Dolls (I have a serious side and a funny side) I wish I had chosen Adelaide. Sarah Brown was a prim missionary. Adelaide was clearly more fun. Thing is, I played Sarah in my High School performance of the same Musical and I figured, I know all the lines already. So I opted to play her again. What an idiot. So lazy. I regret the road not taken. It would have been a gas to be a Hot Box Girl and sing and dance. Boo hoo.

6- I regret not getting a better education. Or, not immersing myself in the education I had. Especially history. And I know I know … it’s never too late. But it’s the same issue I have with language. I can’t retain. I’m currently  watching the Ken Burns Doc The American Revolution even though I know I’m going to forget the details. I enjoy remembering why this country exists. Especially now.

What else? Not much. So that’s good. But as soon as I press ‘publish’ I’ll think of a few more. That’s Ok.

So … what will I do differently? I will never ever ever Sharpie anyone’s name on their forehead. Sigh. I’m going to try to up my shredding game. I’m going to try to keep my mind from wandering during the rest of the Ken Burns Doc. If anything I own has the potential to become a vintage collectable (Barbie) I will think twice before giving it away. I’ll try to choose roads not taken whenever I can. But learning a new language? … I give up.

I say “try” because you can’t promise. But every day is another chance to at least … try.

I’m sure you have your own regrets. Subtle or deep. I wonder how you would change things next time.

Happy Thanksgiving week, my friends. I’m looking forward to the beginning of the wind down.

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