Dear Madame Almost President...

Dear Hillary....

I had found this photo of you for a blog I'd write when you won. I liked the simplicity. The softness. The unassuming pose. The hair. 

But alas. 

 Of course, I had to rewrite my thoughts this morning but I refuse to change the image. 

I took an Ambien last night at 9:30. Slept like a baby. Woke up despondent and Stepford. Sort of like when my otherwise healthy father had an aortic aneurysm and the doctor told me he would probably not live and I kept thinking I’d get a call saying it all turned around overnight and he’d be fine. It didn’t. He wasn’t. He died. 

At first I thought, Ugh…I’ll have to wake up every day for the next four years at least, with no one in the White House to look up to, to inspire me. Even George Bush raised me up on occasion. 

I have a session today. How will I make it through? But then, after a cuppa coffee, the bigger thought was: Good. Session=good. Time to turn off the news. Splash some cold water on my face. I’m going to need music now more than ever, time at the ocean, mindful meditation, yoga, recipes, travel and humor. I’ll have to be kinder to myself than I ever was…ease into the sunset of my life. 

I'll be okay. I feel badly for my daughter though, at this very impressionable time of her womanhood, when she started to feel a sense of limitless excitement in Washington DC…perhaps she thinks it was all a useless hope. DON'T FEEL THAT WAY, DAUGHTER!!! Not just any woman should be President if it’s the wrong woman, (no offense Hillary...you might have been a fantastic POTUS). Even so…just about any woman would have been more acceptable than a man whose contempt for smart women is obvious. I wish you lost to a better man. 

I understand my country mates who are starving for change. I do. I too am concerned with illegal immigration, the cost of health care and trade. But how can we expect someone with so much hate in his mouth to inspire good?  

His agenda is to make the rich richer? Well, Woot Woot for me. I’ll be richer. Why doesn’t this comfort me? And it is true that Republicans are way more supportive of copyright reform and will be more helpful when it comes to digital royalty rates...my soap box. Why don't I care?

I have many friends on the right who have found themselves as perplexed as I during these very strange last few months…fiscally conservative, socially liberal upstanding friends. We’re still friends. And then there are the birthers. The ones who were with trump from the day he made this racist suggestion. They deserve him. 

Other miscellaneous thoughts:

• America isindeedturning into a full on reality show

• Idiocracy was on to something

• So was Dan Greaney

• And Garry Trudeau

• Nate Silver had a good run. ba-bye

• Here in California perhaps I am in a bubble. Please don’t pop it.

• Obama should not attend the transition...let Giuliani or Christie usher trump up the White House steps.

This is a new normal. 

I have yet to ask the mothers of trump voters how they explain him away to their children without bringing you—Hillary—into the conversation. How do they raise up the new Commander In Chief as a stellar example of what our sons and daughters should strive to become? How do they explain pussy culture? Asperger mimicking? Disregard for countrymen and women who have given their lives? How do they defend him to teenagers who are struggling with acne and weight gain and flat chests and gender identity? He is everything I've taught my daughter not to be. Will we be raising an even HUGER culture of bullies, liars and sore losers? Melania has her work cut out for her. 

In four years perhaps, when the country realizes there is no wall or any way to build one or pay for it, when we’re complaining about how hot it is outside or how cold it is, when the subject of science has been removed from classrooms, when the Affordable Care Act hasn't been replaced and millions of Americans with pre-existing conditions are again without health insurance, when our daughter must pay for a funeral of an unborn fetus—when our son is grabbing the pussy of his Prom date….because he thinks it’s ok…because after all…his President did it…(or said he did) it will be time for another change. 

And then the Dems willhave to listen to their people...find a new Bernie and hope for yet another new normal. 

But for now, pass the Tic Tacs. 

Thank you for your service, Hillary. You can take that nap. 

Peace be with us.

Shelly