Virtual SongSex

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At the beginning of this shut down I encouraged all my songwriter friends to get busy co-writing over Zoom. It seemed like a no-brainer. We didn’t have much choice. I even shared a whole bunch of links to software and Apps that might be useful during this strange and disconnected time. Not that I planned on using any of them because…


I never put my money where my mouth was. I never went virtually-creative myself. That’s right, I was a virgin. I couldn’t imagine not going for a walk with a collaborator (pre-game foreplay) knowing something would fall from the conversation and become the title of the song we’d write. I couldn’t imagine not being able to jump up and down together if we stumbled on a hook.

How do you create tangible excitement through a screen? It’s like sex with a condom. Marriage with a prenup.


And so for the last 4 months I’ve abstained. Oh, I’ve been busy making music, but aside from the 2 original songs I wrote on assignment in the same room as my husband it’s been pretty chill. And that’s cool. But at some point I had to face it: how long can we go without? After all we lose muscle memory when we don’t use it. That effortless stream of consciousness that comes from writing every day would get really rusty.


So upon a timely invitation I received last week, I accepted. I did my first virtual co-write this morning.


Which means that yesterday, I had all those day-before songwriting blind date jitters. Yes, still have that conversation with myself. You know the one (or maybe you don’t) (but you probably do): What if I suck? 


I knew I had to prepare. This co-write was with a singer in a rock band. I’d listen to their already released material. I’d try to get into his head. What does he sing about? How does he phrase? What’s his range, go-to chord progression?

One thing I’ve learned about writing with bands (or artists) who are actively making records is that I’m not the only one they called. They’ve been busy. And understandably they get burnt out — they run out of ideas. So I’d better have some.

Ideally I wanted to bring at least 3 “starts” to the session — that is…3 possible concepts. Cuz if one don’t work, ya gotta have a back up. And if the back up don’t fly, well ya got a 3rd. And if the 3rd don’t work, hopefully he’ll have some ‘stuff. ‘

Now, this is a rock band not a boy band. So instead of sitting at the piano where I knew I’d default to something pretty, I strapped on an electric, plugged it into an Amp and headed for a minor. I’m not gonna come with a major 7th (no matter how much I love major 7ths). That’s not their thing. The vibration of the tones was enough to get me going and as hoped an unexpected couple of lines (that thankfully rhymed) came forth. Definitely worth a voice memo. Start #1. I loved that start a lot!

                          

I trust my tricks, sensibilities, instincts. I’ve brought them to enough parties — Keith Urban, Tom Higgenson (of Plain white T’s), Meredith Brooks, Jessie J didn’t kick me out of bed. I have to assume that if they wanted to keep doing exactly what they’ve been doing they wouldn’t call me. Still, it’s been a while and this session will be carried out over an unfamiliar medium. There’s no guarantee I’ll be on my game. Then again, I’m a safe bet. See? The back and forth never goes away.

Thing is, I’d rather go into a session with some doubt, and surprise myself at the end of the day than be too sure of myself only to disappoint. Ugh. The worst. Virtual or not.

You tell yourself whatever you have to tell yourself to prop yourself up. Have all the conversations. And then let it rip. 

So, here’s what how it went:

He had to break the news that the title of my favorite start “World Keeps Spinning,” is sadly the title of the new Theory Of A Dead Man single. Who knew? Not me! Too bad. Yeah yeah yeah…you can’t copyright a title but better if you wait a year or 2…or 10…before you repeat it. But it was all good, because he came with stuff, ideas, titles, ingredients, options. He was open to my diversions. It was pain-free! I really enjoyed the experience. And I have a good feeling about the song.


As for going virtual here’s my take away:

Pros:

No traffic! I only had to decorate myself from the waste up. 

That said…

I am a hopeless interrupter, (it’s part of my creative process) and it’s too confusing to interrupt over Zoom. (I wouldn’t recommend working with me if you can’t deal with it. The alternative is I’ll forget the thing that’s on the tip of my tongue and very often that thing is really good. And then it’s goner forever.)

Because there’s no physical interaction I couldn’t shout “GO back to THAT CHORD — The One You JusT Played,” while reaching out and actually moving his fingers on the fret. Admittedly, this can be obnoxious. But it’s how I roll.

You can’t sing together over Zoom because you can’t hear each other at the same time so there’s this, “You go,” “No you go,” “Ok, go ahead…” etc (I’d better go back and have a look at those links I shared because there must be some other software that’s more virtual-co-write friendly. Suggestions welcome.)

All in all, I think that “order” is necessary when writing virtually. I like order on my bedside table and inside my refrigerator. But for me writing is messy and spontaneous and disorderly. This will take some getting used to.

One day we’ll take walks again before we write and jump up and down together if we stumble on a hook. For now, it feels good to have flexed my muscles and I’m grateful to still be invited to play the game.

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And speaking of major 7ths…here’s my living room cover of “Human” — a song I wrote for the Pretenders a while back. Click here to hear the recorded version that will be on my album which drops next month. Please have a listen. Like me. Follow me. Shazam Me. I need you. This debut-artist-during-a-pandemic thing is not for the feint of heart!

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