Thank You ❤️
I’m as cynical as anyone when it comes to social media. Well, not ‘anyone.’ But you know. I go there. The Addictions. Comparing. Fakery.
But I have to say I’m kinda loving it this week cuz after I spilled about my tinnitus (last blog), the empathy and 411 poured in literally from all over the globe and man, I never realized how many of us have f*cking Tinnitus. We just never talk about it I guess.
Some advice resonated and made sense in my situation. And of course, some didn’t. And that’s ok. I still know you care. I asked for only Hope. A couple of folks said they have had it forever and it never left. Thank you for that. I think? 😳
But mostly there was a lot of honesty about “learning to live with it.” Not “ignoring” but ‘someday you just won’t hear it.’ I can’t imagine not hearing this hiss in my head but ima gonna believe y’all cuz there were too many of you who said the same thing … one day I won’t notice. My MRI was clean. So I better start surrendering, as @JanaHoward put it.
Health is humbling.
I escaped to the beach last week to feel sorry for myself but it’s time to put on my big girl pants. I’m sitting on the sand by the ocean listening to Cola. The sun is out and the sky is blue and I feel loved and helped. The waves are overpowering the hiss so life doesn’t exactly suck right now.
I’m fully functional. I just finished a lyric. Booked some sessions that I’m excited about and a gig at Hotel Cafe!
This - what I’m going through - is “an ant.” I always think of that line Ben Stiller delivered as Derek Zoolander when he was wiping out that tiny model structure and exclaiming it was a “school for ants!” So much mileage from that one line. I laugh over and over when I see replicas of really small things. Thank you for that, Derek. I think I’ll watch it again tonight. “Hansel. He’s so hot!”
My friend Elena from @AppleMusic put me in touch with her pal @SteveJones (from the UK band The Feeling) a fellow T-sufferer, but not so much any more. The convo I had with him over FaceTime this morning about mindfulness and perception was exactly what I needed. For him it came on over Covid lockdown. He had all the same feels — anxiety and depression. But he’s ok now. In fact, he’s thriving. Hardly hears it. He’s got 5 kids, but he got on that phone call. 🙏
Confessing stuff, reaching out for help and waiting for peeps to chime in and take care of you, to guide you is a good thing. So thank you everyone. I feel cared for and guided.
There’s a lot of new music coming out. I love Miley’s new song. I’m looking forward to hearing Olivia Rodrigues’ new album. I’m working on my musical today. I start teaching a new semester this week. I’m dusting off my ring light. Onward!
I’m keeping my hopes up. It’s good for my heart. And my ear. Well both.
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