FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR Tinnitus Update
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about this new condition I have that won’t go away: tinnitus (ringing in the ears). Many of you told me about your own experience with it. I found your stories hopeful, especially if you reported that eventually it just disappeared! 😵💫
We promised to keep each other posted on new discoveries, remedies, etc... So here’s where I’m at:
A few weeks after its arrival when I realized this ‘perception of sound’ wasn’t going anywhere I couldn’t gobble enough gummies fast enough. I tried accupuncture, salt free diets, alcohol free diet, sugar free diet, cleansings. Nothing changed. So why deny myself all of these pleasures if they’re not helping? Mindful practices helped me cope but the sound was still there. Space ships. Tires deflating, Tea kettles.
Then my friend Rick told me about this new device called Lenire — (I promise I’m not pimping it) developed in Ireland and approved by the FDA. Really? (The FDA also approved widespread use of OxyContin.) But OK, tell me more.
Well, he explained — the device has a ‘tongue tip’ which elicits gentle electrical pulses while headphones play soundscapes customized to your personal hearing profile. Together they help your brain stop focusing on your tinnitus. I don’t want to stop focusing on it. I want it to just f***ing go away.
Rick was in week #3 of a 12-week course — two half-hour sessions daily in a calm environment. No screens. No texting. No Nothing else. He said the jury was still out but he thinks he feels better.
Oh one more thing, Rick said. It’s FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS.
You’ve got to be kidding.
He wasn’t.
Of course I was skeptical but in trials 83% of participants say they’d recommend Lenire. (For FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS I would have preferred to hear that 95% of users were cured.😳) Rick had done a lot of research and couldn’t find anything negative about the product. And he’s really smart. And I trust him. “Well,” I said to him, “Maybe I’ll buy you out for half when you’re done.”
Apparently you can’t do that — the frequency patterns of each device are specifically programmed to a user’s unique situation. How convenient!
I consulted my cousin Jim — a renowned ENT on the east coast and he suggested I try sticking a vibrator in my mouth while listening to classical music to see if that worked before spending the money on Lenire. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Sigh. I have to believe there’s something to be said for the trial tests and the particular combination of pulses and tones. ”Bimodal neuromodulation,” they call it.
I bought the damn thing…
…from an audiologist who’d coach me, adjust the settings every few weeks, give me pep talks. He promised that my brain would start “habituating” — which sounded like a fancy word he made up to make me cough up FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. (But all 5 specialists I saw were using the term … as they patted my hand on the way out the door.)
I can see you all rolling your eyes. Boy she’s gullible. But I don’t think anyone can understand how someone would pay FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS if they never experienced the panic of no-end-it-sight tinnitus. Honestly, I would have paid FIFTY if someone could banish it from my brain.
So anyway, I decided my 30-minute sessions would be in the beginning and end of the day and I’d do them in my yard — a space I don’t spend enough time. Cuz life is hectic. And fast. And filled up. I’d sit on the stone bench my friend Grace bought over last year and I’d meditate. I’ve practiced meditation before but umm, for like 10 minutes here and there. Not for and hour a day. That’s a lot of minutes to give up. A lot less tasks to get crossed off my list of things-to-do. But I just spent FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS so I’d better commit! Here we go ...
The vibrations on my tongue were gentle. The “soundscape” could have been composed by a 5-year old on a toy piano. But by the end of the week the motif was hypnotic and I felt a sense of surrender. Oh, there was definitely resistance to getting out there again but once I got started I happily melted into a trance-like state.
And now, three weeks in I have a new relationship with the morning. The soft sunrise. The world breathing in. The glistening of pine needles. The birds chirping. Or squawking. Depending on their mood. And later — the sunset at gloaming. The day receding. The world breathing out.
Is my Tinnitus any better? Maybe. A little. Not as squeaky perhaps. Is there that quarter of a day now and then when I don’t notice it as much? Or am I imagining that? Because … FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. This stuff if so subjective. Am I “habituating?” Who the f**k knows? And then I wake up the next day and it’s back. With vengeance.
Might I be feeling better if I were sitting quietly in my garden withOUT being hooked up to a device? Simply because I paused my chaotic lifestyle? Plausible.
Maybe I’m just another sucker who paid FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS for a placebo — something to believe in — and all it was was a contraption that would accompany my slow burning acceptance. Time — that beautiful 4 letter word — is the remedy for so much no matter the supplements we take, the yoga we do, the hugs we receive. All along … it’s time.
I don’t know why I got tinnitus. But I’m not in shock any more. I mean, I’m not happy about it. But I’m getting used to it. What else can I do? How do I choose to live? By diving deeper down the Dr. Google rabbit hole? Or by getting on with life?
Uh oh. I think I might be habituating. 😳
*******
From Covenant of Water: “The brain needs to be convinced that things aren’t what they seem.”
I’ll report back in 12 weeks.
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